Yeah, and I'ma da Pope!

1. 78 perche that'sa when I became-a the pope!

2. DJ!

3. I only do one of these every hundred years.

4. I don'ta wanta to answer thata.

5. It was the lasta time I lefta the Vatican.  I threw upa.

6. Donta have one.

7. Cardinal Cookie hee hee!

8. I suppose if the Virgin Mary were interested...LOL JK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Becky. Now Me!

Why not answer the quiz myself??  I'm worth it!

1. Hopefully by the time I'm that old, I will have come unstuck in time and every age will be the same age to me and I'll love them all.

2. I can't say I have a favorite because stephanie is a real trickster.  First she's adorable, then she's dancing like crazy, then she's gross.  So I'd have to say it's a tie between her (little up to straight hair years) and michelle (baby up to when she starts first grade).

3. Someone else's answers to this quiz, probably.  The Pope's!

4. 8,689 (THAT IS COMPLETELY TRUE)

5. It was great!  I was at six flags over georgia.

6. Once, Dan DIDN'T poop his pants.

7. I tried so hard, but I never really got into it.  I remember telling someone not to sit in a chair because of her, though.  I was probably just being mean.

8. If the child/ren is/are SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!!! then yes!

And also maybe if I spent more time with the kid, he would get cuter as my heart grew fonder.  But then again, this is the jif quiz.  Fastest answer=most correct answer.

"I'm Dan. Here we go!"

I think Dan's answers (danswers) will go like this:

1. "My fave age will have been 13 because that is when I started to gain an affinity for boxer shorts."

2. "Does Joey count as a sister?"

3. "My next post will be a longish story of a failed bank robbery, only the story will take place before any of it happens."

4. "1000 days"

5. "My mom and dad had just told me they were pregnant with a new baby brother or sister for me. They took me to a roller coaster and told me I could ride it by myself! When I got off, they were nowhere to be found. I guessed the new baby took my place, so I flew off to never never land and took up with a few lost boys yada yada."

6. "Once I DIDN'T poop in my pants. I was so embarrassed because every other time, I DO."

7. "No but his name would have been Dick Van Dyke and we would have played tennis together."

8. "No, yes."

Dan, was I right? I did this so quickly. The jiffy quiz worked!

The Jif Quiz!

Hey Dan I called it a jif quiz because you're supposed to do it in a jiffy.
DON'T STOP TO THINK!

1. What do you think your favorite age will be, when you're almost dead and looking back at all those years?
2. Fave full house sister?
3. What's your next post going to be about?
4. How many days old are you?
5. Describe the circumstances around your last visit to a roller coaster.
6. What is your most embarrassing story about someone else (not me)?
7. Did you ever have an imaginary friend (not me)?
8. Would you ever date someone with a child? What about more than one child?


Here are my thoughts on tree trunk bark:
Of COURSE the trunk is thicker than the bark! You have to fit the bark into the trunk at least twice if you're measuring it in a circle! Sometimes I forget how little people knew about math back then. I think that was back when scientists were still called "Natural Philsophes." And they discussed tree trunk:tree bark ratios in their outdoor salons. In conclusion, of course the trunk is thicker. Duh, president franklin.

Mrs. Buttcrachins Revenge

HERE IS A POEM ABOUT THE FIRST EPISODE OF FULL HOUSE
Upon the toilet this morn,
I thought, "til Full House I'm forlorn."
These three girls are small
but I don't mind at all-
But don't say they Toot My Horn!


HERE IS A POEM ABOUT UNCLE JESSE
His hair needs a trim.
I have crush on him.


HERE IS "BABY ALERT"
"Wah wah waaaah"
"Wah wah waaaah"
can't you say anything else
you little baby michelles?

* I didn't realize "else" would rhyme with "michelles" until it happened in "Baby Alert."

18th Century Quote

"The tree's trunk is often thicker than its bark."

-Benjamin Franklin

True Story

"Once upon a time," old Mrs. Critchens began, "I used to be your age too."

Molly and Freddy began to laugh and giggle, but then got more serious as the woman continued.

"Certainly, it was a long time ago." The cracks at the corners of her ancient lips angled up and down, as if each was fixed at the center with a pivot point that shifted the crack 'round like the movable diameter of a circle.

"Back then things were different. We had different kinds of toys to play with, different kinds of rules we needed to follow; hell, we had a whole different way of living in the world when I was your age."

As the old woman let the curse word fall coarsely from her mouth, the young children perked the tiniest bit, but the old woman didn't notice. For a trillionth of a moment, Freddy's eye darted towards Molly's face, but hardly got an eighth of the way before returning its gaze to the leathery, petrified skin that shifted left and right, up and down, like a Native American doing one of his dances that prays for rain across the fertile, deathlike prairie.

"I'm sure you don't know what it was like back then."

Molly wore an expression that subtly suggested that the old busybody was right - that she had had no idea what it was like back then. Scarcely the tiniest bit of an idea, indeed.

The old fossil of a woman froze as her papery lips began to form the first sound of the first syllable of the next word that she was going to say, but she fell silent. All three pairs of eyes shifted over to the floorboards by the window.

A beautiful Asian butterfly was floating towards the floor, bringing nectar back to feed its young.

Acknowledgement

This is great, Becky.

Onerous Onesome

"onesome" is a lot like "lonesome," eh dan? Not that that's what I am. I already made four posts on this and I don't even know if I'll get the big guy's O.K.!

Dan this blog can be a real dialogue once we get going. Once I had a dream where I spent a lot of time (years maybe) where the only bathroom I could use was like a huge warehouse that was actually a boys' locker room, and none of the toilet stalls had doors and only a few of the toilets actually had stalls. I hated it and there was hay and poop all over the floor.

Boy, Is Pop Culture Crazy

Sometimes I like to expound a little bit on my thoughts and observations of the world around me. I'm like Chuck Klosterman that way. A lot a lot like him. You see, I sometimes notice when I'm, oh say I'm walking around. Maybe I see a guy with a straw fedora on. I've got to be like, "jeepers, what is this? Farmer Sinatra over here?" In that way, I comment on my observation. Then later on, I think to myself, "why not write all this out on the internet or maybe a newspaper? Other people would probably love to hear that frank sinatra joke because it's truly funny, and I think people appreciate truly funny things. I know I do. I also know Chuck Klosterman doesn't, but hey, this isn't his blog.

Dan do you like how much like chuck klosterman I am?"

Hey, Dan!

Here's one we could always use! I registered it and customized the colors and added puppies and goldfish! Do you like it?

I Can't Believe 'Em!

My two jade plants, which died and came back to life, are growing so quickly. Their names are Walt (he's the big one) and Christopher Robin (our happy little accident!).

They always get into trouble around the house. For instance, just yesterday I looked out the window at them, and their leaves were all pointing up! Then this morning, they were the same as they always were. What is this, a magic show? First it's one way, then voila! it's another way...

I swear this terrible twosome is just driving me up the wall!!!